Join The Rezistance / The X Manifesto

JOIN THE REZISTANCE:THE X MANIFESTO

QUALIFICATION PROTOCOL / 005

Five questions. One standard.
No weak links.

We’d like you to join the Rezistance – but we need to qualify you first. Being a Rezistor means joining the league of the resolute. An order of fearless independence and self-respect; of unapologetic purpose and defiance; of striking execution and impact. We accept nothing short of excellence. If you don’t live by the values of this order, we’d rather play 10 vs. 11 than 11 vs. 11 with a weak link. To check your Rezistor pedigree, we have five questions.

PUBLIC RESISTANCE

01 / 05

Your wife orders you to take off your Long and never resist in public again. What do you do?

ATake off her slippers and lick them. BCall your mother and report what your wife said incl. date and time. CPut on another Long on top of it and go resist randomly around the block.

THE LINE

02 / 05

Two options: fit in perfectly with society or stand with the Rezistance for something you believe in?

ADepends on who’s watching, but in general I love sucking the boots of my masters and will trade dignity for approval any day at the sight of delicious masterboots. BI’ll consider standing for what we believe in. Unless my boss is there. There are no values worth losing my job over. CI was never in line to begin with. Before the Rezistance came along, I was already a one-man army Rezistor. This is what I’ve been waiting for.

THE WEAK LINK

03 / 05

A weak link joins the Rezistance: Mr. Know-it-all, done learning, allergic to hard work, still living on pity from the traumatic experience of being kicked on the shin in third grade. Literally no resistance in the soul. How do you react?

AMake him leader of the Rezistance. Clearly, we’ve found our guru if he’s done learning. His zero learning input can create an enormous productivity output; and his victimization approach can leap us miles ahead. You know how it is with gurus, things always have opposite effect. BSend me location. Him and whichever orangutang considered answer A. Everyone can get it. CStart warming up for 10 vs. 11. The cause of the Rezistance matters; no time to waste on gurus and their orangutang followers.

FAILURE RESPONSE

04 / 05

You fail badly at something that matters to the Rezistance. Your next move?

AIt wasn’t my fault. It was your fault. It was their fault. It was my parents’ and childhood’s fault. It was my trauma’s fault. It was the dog’s fault – But the dog died 10 years ago? – It died wrong. BStart sobbing and crying in the corner out of self-pity, making this the perfect excuse for never daring to be X again – why do we wanna resist when it’s so hard anyway, right? COvercome baboon mentality. Get up. Get X. Evaluate. Learn more. Work harder. Double down on my faith. Return better. Try a second attempt with a confidence like the rest of the Rezistance doesn’t know what’s about to hit it.

THE SIGNAL

05 / 05

Someone tells you, “the Rezistance will never succeed – be realistic”. What do you hear?

AThe truth. We should design our master takeover plans so all insecure sheep and self-doubting salamanders feel comfortable in themselves. BGood advice. We should go fishing in our pyjamas and legwarmers and talk us out of the challenges we face. CZoo background noise. I’ll have the next-level plan ready Monday morning. Self-funded.

Answered C all the way through? You’re clearly one of us. Welcome to the Rezistance.

If not: you may return to civilian life. We thank you for your interest and kindly ask you not to sign up below. Please don’t do it.

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REZISTANCE X

Men

Size	Recommended height*
S	Up to 175 cm
M	172–182 cm
L	179–189 cm
XL	186+ cm

Size	Recommended height*
S/M	Up to 177 cm
M/L	173–188 cm
L/XL	184+ cm

Size	Recommended height*
Standard	Up to 185 cm
Tall	186+ cm

Little Men

Size	Recommended height*
2–3 years	Up to 100 cm
4–5 years	97–110 cm
6–7 years	108–122 cm
8–9 years	120–134 cm
10–11 years	132–146 cm
12–13 years	144–158 cm
14–15 years	156+ cm

* Height recommendations are indicative and may overlap to account for differences in preferred fit and length.

FIT & LENGTH

The length of Longs may vary by style and design, with the hem falling anywhere between the knee and ankle. More modern Longs, in particular, may tend to be shorter. For the most accurate indication of the fit and length of each model, refer to how it sits on the mannequin. The mannequin’s height and the size worn are indicated on each product page.

ALTERATIONS

If your build requires a size that does not correspond with your height, it is common practice and a longstanding tradition to have the length of the garment shortened or extended by a local tailor for a precise fit. Most of our Longs include an additional 2–5 cm or more of fabric folded into the hem, intentionally left by the tailors, should a length adjustment be needed. The latter applies to most Long Hoodies and selected Long Fines and Long Chills. Please feel free to inquire about specific models.